Dressed for Success

Hello my lovelies! I think we all know what this post is going to be about, especially given the subject matter of the previous post. Yes, it is true. I said yes to the dress! I found the gown! I did decide to be a bride! I said that's right, I want white! I went.....okay. You get the idea.



Once upon a time.....



My mom and my two sisters, Mary Beth and Leslie, all met me at my house early Sunday morning and we began the small trek to Cincinnati for my appointment at Belle Bridal. We had a fantastic car ride up there - lots of laughing, geeking out over the wedding, listening to my song selections - just being girls. I really cherished the time spent with my mom and sisters, and it made the entire experience of the day that much better!



We arrived in Cincy a little early, despite our pit-stop to order biscuits with eggs and cheese on them on our way. Yes. That's right. I'm not only NOT the girl who starved herself to go try on gowns, a bitch had some biscuits, mmmK?



Once we arrived, we fell in love with the small little area of town where the shop was located. It was all small boutiques, ALL wedding related, and everything was so quaint. It was a very small little neighborhood, and we were able to just roam around - no traffic, hardly any people out, and super cute. We rounded the corner, and there it was.

This beautiful, purple beacon of goodness calling out to me. Then, we walk in the door and are greeted with this:

After the angel's finished their rousing refrain of the Hallelujah Chorus, and the fairy dust cleared my eyes, I was able to take it in. I was in a bridal shop - not to try on a bridesmaid dress, but for meeeeeee! Squeeeee!! My consultant, Montana, greeted us cheerily and asked me a few quick questions before taking us back to a private little fitting area. And guys. Y'all KNOW it was purple, right?!

Pinks and purples and Michas flew about the room. I giddily kicked off my flip flops and plopped down on a chair and could barely breathe I was so excited/nervous!! Montana disappeared to go begin pulling gowns for me, and about 15 minutes later she reappeared with her arms full. I had read online that the consultants were very good about knowing exactly what would fit you, and all sample sizes are plus-size. But I was admittedly still nervous that nothing would even go ON me, let alone zip, button, snap, or tie.

I stepped into the huge fitting room, and we dove right in. She helped me climb into the first gown. And I mean climb. I had to dig my way through that bitch like I was trying to reach the summit of Everest. If I was a weak one, I wouldn't have made it. At least not without a guide.

So I get the gown on, and I'm not facing the mirror yet, and she is behind me bustling around and then....THEN...theeeeennnn....she zipped the dress. It fit like a glove. She just zipped it right up, then buttoned up the top, and suddenly I was in a wedding dress, that fit perfectly, in my size, and shit got real. So she asks me to turn around, and I do. And I saw.....boobs. Ohhh the boobs. I mean, it is NO secret that I am a well-endowed young woman, and I do have boobs for days. Boobs so large that I've often been known to loose things in them, such as money, cheetos, and a stray goldfish cracker every now and then. But when I turned around, even I was shocked at myself. She asked me what my first thought was and I just went, "Boobs." and she laughed hysterically. The dress was beautiful. It was sleeveless, but had attachable sleeves as an option, had lots of vintage-y lace and beadwork and was stunning. I stepped out to show my mom and sisters, and I stepped up on the little pedestal thing (which, by the way I thought was only on TV!). It was hilarious, because on TV generally the bride steps out and everyone ooo's and ahhh's, but stays sitting. Not us Hughes girls! They ooo'd and ahh'd, and we had that "OMG our baby is trying on her first wedding dress!" moment. But then, all three of them popped up like prairie dogs. They were snapping on the sleeves, tucking things across my cleavage, fluffing the bottom, pulling here adjusting there - it was a frenzy!! LOL It was SO funny and yet so fun all at the same time. My consultant was right in the mix, too. And by the end of the frenzy, I turned around in the mirror again and I had transformed. The boobs had been tamed - well, relatively - the sleeve had been attached, made a 3/4 length, and made smaller all without any sewing (no idea...) and it looked beautiful! I started to really see it and we all really like it. But then I said, "I like this, but I don't love it. I'm not IN love with it." to which they all go "NEXT!" and I went back in the fitting room.

The second dress was a completely different style than the first. This one had a laced up corset as the bodice, and was covered in beauuuuuitful satin that was all soft like buttermilk. Oh it felt so soft. Montana kept lacing me up and it kept getting tighter, but it didn't feel too tight. But it was SO UNCOMFORTABLE!! That bodice was like a mini torture chamber. She got it on, and I waddled out to show the girls. I climbed up on the pedestal, and they all just loved how beautiful it was. The frenzy resumed, and within 5 minutes that dress suddenly had a bustle and sleeves. Again, no sewing. These Hughes girls.....

But I was only in it for about 15 minutes, and I was miserable. I had her loosen the corset thinking that might be the problem, but even with it loosened it was just awful. The dress fit perfectly, again it was my size and laced up like a pro. But the structure of the boning was just poking and choking. So I decided to try sitting. Oh thaaaat was smart. I more or less fell into a chair, and both my boobs popped up and bitchslapped me in the face in retaliation. My neck disappeared entirely under the swath of my cleavage, and then I couldn't even get up. All the fullness of the dress combined with the bodice and I was just immobile! haha My mom and Montana yanked me up and I wobbled back into the fitting room. I rated this dress a 5 out of 10 based purely on how uncomfortable it was, but it was still stunning!

So. Dress number three. Montana helped me cliiiiiimb into it. It was also a corset bodice, but it was structured entirely differently. It didn't hurt at all. And before I even turned around to the mirror, I knew it fit like a glove. It just went on perfectly. Then she ran around for a few minutes searching for the matching jacket and belt that comes with it. Finally, she gets it all on and I look in the mirror, and it. was. beautiful. Stunning. Shocking!

I walked out and climb my pedestal for the girls, and they are all instantly up and ready to do battle with the dress. But then, we realized it needed nothing. It made me look beautiful. I FELT beautiful. So Montana asks if I'd like to see it with the veil. She brings it out and clips it into my hair, and I get back up on the pedestal, and my breath just got taken away. I suddenly saw it all. I saw the doors to the church opening, I saw Andrew standing there, I saw me dancing, I saw all my pictures - it was like having  a flashback, but it was a flash forward. I have never felt so beautiful in my entire life. I felt like a princess. Every inch of it hugged me in all the right places, and it was STUNNING. I stood there for what felt like hours, and when I came back to reality I realized I was crying. I look over to my side, and my two sisters and mom are just standing there silently. My mom was bawling her eyes out, silently. Her eyes were red, tears were pouring down her face, and she was just standing in the corner, my tiny little momma, watching me cry.

I have always wondered about "the moment". I know every girl doesn't have it, and I know on TV it is beyond made into a Hollywood moment. So I really had no idea what to expect in terms of how I would react. Would I just know? Would I cry? Would I just find one I liked better and say okay? Would I find anything? Would I think EVERY gown was perfect just because it was a highly anticipated moment and wedding gowns are pretty? It completely hit me out of nowhere that I had this type of reaction. I saw it all, and more than anything I kept seeing Andrew. I just could see him seeing me. My other two sister's started to tear up, and then Montana started to cry! She asked me if this was "the one", and I hesitated for a brief second. Because, I had a quick reality check that this gown was a tiny bit over my dress budget - by $260 to be exact. And that is a lot to me because again, we are paying for the wedding, budget is very important, and I had set a strict budget for my gown since we went over on my ring by a little. So I said, "Well....who wants to tell Andrew I'm over budget?!" and my mom and Mary and Leslie all started talking at once. My mom goes, "I'm paying half!" and Leslie goes "Oh I'll FIND money to cover that difference. You are buying this dress!!" and Mary and Montana are crying in separate corners. Then Montana goes, "Let me call Stacy. I'm going to ask if she can give you the veil for free. You HAVE to have this veil. It makes the entire dress." So I cried even harder. haha Then I took a deep breath and go "THIS IS MY DRESS!! YES!!!" It was it. I'm a sappy little hopelessly romantic dork and I don't care.

So immediately I get paparazzi'd by my sisters. I made them promise me NO PICTURES on my cell phone because Andrew isn't allowed to see the gown until our wedding day. So they snapped a million on theirs, and then swore to secrecy. I'm not letting anyone see it!!! Then they start showing me the pictures, and I cry and gasp again because it is not only beautiful, but I genuinely looked beautiful in it. And I never say things like that about myself!! The back of the dress.....oh you guys. YOU GUYS!!! That back. Shew!

I finally consented to the fact that I couldn't wear the gown home, and I trudged back into the fitting room to take it off. Sigh. I so wanted to wear it out. My mom and I went into the office and began the process of buying a car...er, buying a wedding dress. Oh, the paperwork and decisions! It is being made by a designer, so it will take 4 months to arrive. That will leave me with exactly 2 months for alterations. I really basically just need it hemmed. Everything else fit perfect. Just needs a hook here, a button there, and voila!

I cannot speak highly enough about my day at Belle Bridal. I felt like a princess from start to finish. I was celebrated as a beautiful woman. My size meant nothing. Just nothing! Plus-sized brides, if you are out there and reading this please, I beg you, make your appointment at this store today!! They cater to us big girls, and I would recommend it to anyone!!! You can zip, tie, button, snap, and lace up anything in that store. They brought me every gown in my size exactly, fitting like a glove. No clips in sight! A wonderful, friendly staff who were just as involved in my big day as we were, a beautiful (purple!) boutique, hundreds of gowns in stock all above a size 12W, hundreds of accessories, and more!

It was a fantastic day, a special memory I will always have, and a time I will never forget. I said yes to THE dress. Oh, and I did get that veil for free. ;)

Curvy Couture

So here is the thing. I have my first ever appointment scheduled next week to try on wedding dresses!! And this has been a roller coaster of a process. I initially was SO excited and happy, immediately after becoming engaged, to go through the dress process. I am that girl. The girl who is all girly and wants to have the white dress, and I'm not even opposed to it looking like a cupcake. I am not a feminist or they type of girl who rolls her eyes at weddings and wedding dresses and all that jazz. I actually am not that big of a fan of women who ARE like that. They are on some rampage path all the time it seems like to put women like me down and say we are quaint, or even worse uneducated or ignorant. No, actually that is not the case. I am just girly and want a white poofy dress. So sue me.

I digress. My point of this post is actually something a bit different. Once I calmed from my initial excitement over wedding dress shopping, I realized that shopping for me wouldn't be quite so easy. I am a plus-sized gal, this is no secret. But it would appear that unfortunately most of society still seems to adhere to the thought that us plus-sized gals must want to fat-shame ourselves and wear either sweatpants, shirts that are made of cotton and have applique flowers on them, or glorified pajama tops. Aside from Lane Bryant and a small third floor hidden secret at Macy's, it is often hard to find stylish clothes. Now, I'm not saying it is impossible, and it is branching out way more now than it used to. But there is still a challenge. I can't just shop at any store .Just simply can't. I have to find stores that carry women's sizes, and even then I have to dig through the unbearably awful sweatpantsteeshirt racks before I find the two outfits that look somewhat less horrifying and I could maybe do something with.

But then there are wedding dresses. A whole different ball game. As if being a big girl wasn't bad enough, wedding dresses run small. Like, really small. So I'm taking my already large size and adding a couple sizes to it just to fit in something. So all my excitement slowly began to fade and turn into nervous fear, and the realization that I will indeed be getting married in a smock. Bedazzled of course. So I diligently began looking at gowns online to find who carries what sizes and what my choices are. And there are many bridal stores out there that DO carry plus-size gowns, but most of them don't carry them in the store. Instead they squeeze you into the sample size and you by a gown that you really, honestly may not have any idea what it looks like on you. And I realize that 90% of brides are clipped into their dresses during their initial fittings, and have to have alterations. But there is a big difference between taking it in or out a few inches, verses taking a Size 20 girl and putting here in a size 10 dress and saying “Imagine it...close your eyes....here comes the bride....” No, bitch I will not imagine it. I cannot breathe, my 18 backfat rolls that I SO judiciously worked on hiding this morning are now out in full view for the pack of sorority girls to my left who are trying on size 2 dresses and taking them IN. And yes. I've personally been through this, a la David's Bridal. The associate who was assigned to our appointment actually seemed disgusted and annoyed that a large girl would even want to try on a dress, and yet this is a store that boasts they carry through sizes 30W. Now, to be fair, I did recently speak to a bride who had a FANTASTIC experience at David's Bridal, and she recommended them, so I know that every experience is different.

And to make matters worse, in my online researching, I went to the plus-size section for one site, gleeful to find they carried almost a hundred designs in plus-size. But much to my dismay – and actually my shock – the models wearing the gown on the website were sickly looking. Really, really tall girls who were wafer thin and their bones were far more prominent than the actual gown. I actually gasped when I saw the page. And on another site I visited, I came across a hack-job of a photoshop portrayal of a “big girl” - yes. It was called a big girl. And it was an Asian woman's head hastily taped to the body of...something. A pudding pop perhaps? I have no idea. But it was awful. There were “rolls” that looked hand-drawn on to a skinny model.

Now, before I continue some of you may be thinking “But Micha! It is your wedding!! Lose weight! Be skinny!”. Well, if it were that simple to lose weight and be skinny for me, then wouldn't I um....be skinny??! I have struggled with my weight my entire life, no secret, and I am often very public about my journey(s) to health and wellness and a better me. And I will always continue on that journey, and I recognize my own health concerns, and my quest is NEVER about being skinny for the sake of being skinny. It is ALWAYS about health. And wouldn't it be nice if I lost all this weight and was magically skinny before my wedding?! No. Actually, I prefer a more realistic approach. I've watched brides literally starve themselves to be perfection for their wedding day. I've seen them do it for the gown, for the pictures, for the groom – all kinds of reasons. But that just isn't me. My wedding is uber important to me, and the day will be magical I'm sure. But I'm going to be me. And honestly, I know me, and I'm not going to starve myself and loose 100 lbs before November. Will I mind my P's and Q's and eat better and watch my portions and make sure I feel beautiful from within? YES. Andrew adores me for me. He loves every single one of my imperfections. And yes, I'm crazy enough that I've actually sat next to him and listed them, practically alphabetically, and said “Are you SUUUUUURE you're okay with my fat rolls?! The fact that I have hair in weird places sometimes?! My double chins?! I HAVE A MOLE ON MY BACK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN TURN BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!”

And he smiles. And tells me he loves me for me, and accepts me in all stages of my journey, the good, bad, and the ugly. He is marrying me. All of me. And he adores me, and tells me I'm beautiful and guess what? I know he means it. How crazy is THAT to feel that he MEANS it y'all?!

So. Ultimately, after a lot of thought I eventually have come full circle on this issue. I kept up my quest to find a gown, and I came across a fantastic bridal boutique in Cincinnati, Ohio called Belle Bridal Boutique Curvy Couture. It is a bridal shop that does not carry ANY size below a size 12, and they cater only to us plus-sized gals. They only offer private appointments, and they ONLY carry samples sizes in plus-sizes. So when you try on your gown, you are not pinned into anything, you are wearing a gown that is your size, and may just need those few inches here or there. And they carry all the way up to a size 32W, so when they say plus-size they mean it! I called and spoke to them, and they were so sweet. They focus on the bride feeling beautiful. I read probably 200 reviews on them, and at least half of them said the owners never even asked their size – they just knew by looking and brought them gown after gown to try on. So for one day, I will feel like the cupcake princess that I want to feel like!

If you're still reading, good for you. My point is this: I struggle with my weight because I am too big. Some women struggle with their weight because they are too small. Some women, who look damn near perfect to me, struggle with their weight!! Ladies, let's be friends, okay? We don't know what any other woman is going through, and it is SO unfair to judge a girl and her wants and needs based on her size. My wedding is going to be beautiful, and I'm going to feel beautiful inside and out that day because I am loved by an incredible man, and will be surround by family and friends, and not ONE of them will be staring at my chin(s). And I'm going to have pictures taken of my wedding, just as I am. Because I don't want to look back in 5 years and sigh and get down because I was “so skinny” for my wedding. Beauty is not defined by size. Happiness is defined from within. So find that. And go be awesome.

I'm baaaaaaaaaack

Wow. Okay. I think I wrote in this blog sometime during the Jurassic era, and then pretty much decided to just hang out until the iPhone was invented. Read: I'M SORRY!!!

Many of you have “lovingly” been asking me....texting me....*ahem* harrassing me....gently nudging me and asking me when I'm going to update this blog again. Well, today is the day! To be fair my life has been crazy. And I pretty much took the entire month of March off from Wedding-ness. For those of you who don't know, I quit my job at LexPhil. Quite willingly. I was extremely NOT happy with management, and my general situation for reasons which I will not detail here but am happy to discuss privately. So I decided when one is in a bad environment one should remove one's self from said bad environment. So I did! However, they got in one last sucker punch on me financially, again which I will not discuss here but am HAPPY to privately, so I was without adequate pay for a while. No worries though. I left with grace, despite my unbelievable urge to leave more colorfully, a la Jet Blue Flight Attendant style. If only I wasn't so nice.

BUT none of that is neither here nor there. I am out of the terrible-awful, and now in the terribly-AWESOME! I have taken a new job, with a wonderful work environment, an exceptionally wonderful boss, and I am happier than ever. It feels nice to be appreciated, be in a healthy office environment, and be able to focus again. My schedule is amazing, and most importantly I am treated like a human – with respect, gratitude, equality, and more. No, seriously. I could write a book on the difference between there and here. But I shan't. Because this is about...MY WEDDING!!

So, during my transition time I was unable to really get anything wedding-related taken care of. Like I said, I was slammed with a lovely parting-gift of a financial slap across the face from the almighty Phil, so I had to mind my P's and Q's and not be spending extras on the wedding. But I am back! I have resumed my wedding bliss. A few things...

First, my awesome amazing momma bought our drink dispensers for the wedding reception. Since I am using mason jars as my glasses for the guests, she bought these awesome large mason jar dispensers:

http://creativenoise.net/BEVERAGE-DISPENSER-GLASS-MASON-JAR-2-Gal-Metal-Lid-NIB_150806157363.htm

How amazing is SHE?! Secondly, I bought all of my table cloths for the reception last weekend. I made a big, CEO decision, and opted to go with chocolate brown table cloths. Let me paint you a picture:

So I've been struggling with these table cloths. White is too bright. Purple is too “ehr mehr gehrd errrrrthing is purrrple herrrre!!”. And cream just doesn't pop enough with the lace. Well, a few weeks ago I bought this adorbs tote bag at Goodwill, because that's how I roll, and it was dark purple with chocolate brown leather trim. And It. Is. So. Pretty. Y'all. So I kept thinking maybe, just maybe dark brown would be an option, but I didn't say anything because I'm crazy and you know...But then, my sweet finance comes home one night and says while he was out shopping for something else, he came across a huge clearance rack of chocolate brown table cloths on sale for...wait for it....$5.00 each!! He said he didn't know if I had even thought of brown, but of course I had because he and I are on the same wave length 24/7, so I sat up like a prairie dog and thought “It must be fate!”. The very next day I commissioned my mom to go look at them with me, and voila. We bought them all. It was like an episode or hoarders, wedding edition, as we crammed them all into the wedding-filled trunk.

In other news that you have missed, we have set the menu for the reception, so there will indeed be food to put on these tablecloths! We have hired a local catering service who specialize in southern BBQ. So we are having a good ol'fashioned Southern style BBQ with all the fixin's. I think it will taste super yummy.

But here is my secret dilemma: Do receptions need a theme???? Because well....okay, here. I am including things I like. Purple. Vintage china plates with mason jars. Lace. Southern BBQ. It's all shabby-chic, so if that counts as a theme I am in. But for the centerpieces I have been collecting my baskets to make my mini hot-air balloons. But then I was thinking WHOA. Where does THAT fit in? Now granted, I have only spent about $20 total on that entire project, so it isn't the end of the world if I don't use them. But should I use them anyway? Does it fit? Does it need to fit? What else could I use?!?! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. Shew. Almost freaked out there. But really. Help.

Our Save-The-Dates are going out May 1^st come hell or high water. We are already way behind and haven't even had them made yet. So um yeah. But May 8^th is exactly 6 months to the day until the wedding so we kind of have to have that done. Read: We MUST finalize the guest list!!!!

And finally, in exciting news, I am calling David's Bridal today to set up my first wedding-dress appointment here locally. I am nervous, excited, etc. I don't know what to expect. And I am a big girl, so I'm really scared I won't find anything to fit me! I'm seriously having nightmares that I'm going to have to end up buying my dress second-hand from some store called SurPLUS Bride or something.

SO yes. I'm back kids. The blogging has resumed, as have all things wedding. My one-month hiatus is over and now it's time to kick-butt. Please, won't you rejoin me on the ride?!