Mother of the Groom

Okay, before I begin this post may I just take a moment to laugh out loud? I was sending a text to Andrew and I meant to type “dishwasher”. Instead, my fat fingers typed “fishwadger” because I was trying to type and eat at the same time (read: fat fingers) so it got all jumbled. But my auto correct immediately knew what I meant and changed it to dishwasher. I find it encouraging that it knows me so well. It also now suggests changing “I’m” to “Ima”. Again, it knows me.

So today’s post isn’t about decorations or dresses or venues. I’ve really been thinking about some other things and I wanted to share them. I love Andrew with all that I am (we all know this), and I am SOOOO excited to marry him and have all that a marriage brings. And on that list of all that I am inheriting is something that I feel many people don’t talk about, or often make fun or even see as a chore: I’m talking about HIS side of the family.

Now, through the years I have heard horror stories about mother-in-laws, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. And I do love me some J-Lo ala “Monster-In-Law” with Jane Fonda. And I do understand that it is probably like that for a lot of women out there. But I have to say I count my blessings every day for the family that is now becoming my family, too. I adore Andrew’s family – his siblings, his awesome nephews and nieces who are beautiful, talented, funny, and FUN! He has a gigantic family, even bigger than mine I think (and for anyone who knows me, you know that is absolutely almost impossible to say!) Going to Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas at his house this year was a first for both of us (we didn’t do joint holidays last year since we were so new to the relationship). And I think we were both a little nervous. But we had the BEST holidays we have ever had. We spent days surrounded by dozens of people who love us and wish the best for us. We would drive home, exhausted, but so happy to have had the time to see everyone and spend the time with them. Oh my goodness, his family has sooooo many little kids! It is hilarious to watch them all together. My family is mostly older now, until I start making babies, but I do remember the days when all my nephews were little and how much fun it was. Now I get to re-visit that vicariously through his family.

I know Andrew loves my family, too. He has an uncanny connection with my dad. They text each other back and forth every day goofing off and joking. He asked dad’s permission for my hand in marriage, and I know that meant the world to my daddy. Andrew loooooves my momma’s cooking (who doesn’t!?) and he loves hanging out with my parents. We actually have a fantastic time when the four of us go out. We laugh and laugh and laugh endlessly. And we see a LOT of ourselves in my parent’s relationship, and they give us amazing advice. We base our relationship on God and family, and this foundation keeps us so strong. My sisters, Leslie and Mary, love Andrew and he them. They fit right in together and have the best time.

Anyway, I have a couple things I’m trying to get to here. At the head of these two amazing families are two amazing sets of parents. Our parents have each been married close to 50 years now, and they have built up quite the little empire of children and grandchildren. And though I love and adore my parents, and Andrew his, what gets me the most is how much we each love each other’s family. Andrew’s mom, whom I affectionately call “momma” is a strong, beautiful, loving, SWEET woman with a heart of gold. The first time I met her she asked me if she could hug me, and she did – such a tight, warm hug! I could literally feel her, through that hug, saying “Thank you.” She knew. She knew from the start I was the one for Andrew and she felt at peace because her baby boy, her most precious thing in the entire world, was going to be loved and taken care of. She has treated me like gold from the very second I met her. She checks in on me, texts me, makes sure I’m okay and have anything I need. She tells Andrew he better be good to me – she tells him to make sure he takes the trash out, use his manners with me, never yell at me, to take care of me – she literally will lecture her own son in order to make sure her Micha is okay. She cares about us in such a deep way. And I immediately connected with her because in her I see Andrew. I see he is almost a carbon copy of this woman. He shares her huge heart, he shares her kindness, he shares her desire to do good. He had struggles before he met me (as I did before I met him) and he was in a darker place. And she never left. She is so strong. SO strong. I cannot emphasize that enough. If I am having a moment when I don’t understand Andrew, I know she gets it and can help. I know she has seen it all, done it all, been through it all. I hope she doesn’t go under appreciated by anyone because she deserves the best. She is Andrew. Andrew is her. She has instilled her heart in him, and for that I could never thank her enough or put into words how grateful I am for him being raised by that momma.

So my point it, I am completely overwhelmed, elated, and just downright happy that I actually have this. Not only did I find the man who I am deeply in love with, who is my best friend, who is my safety, my happy, my strong arm. I found him. But with him, came this amazing change in my life. His familiy is becoming mine, and mine his. And it amazing.  I don’t have the crazy mother-in-law – I have the momma who gives me purple things and hugs me and tells me she loves me every time she sees me or talks to me. How in this world did I become this blessed? How did I go from being the most broken soul on this earth, to believing love didn’t exist, to believing settling for second or even third best was my only attainable love – to THIS? I am so very happy to be marrying this man, to be joining this big crazy family, to be starting this new adventure.

Just Call Me Maybe

I'm not gonna lie. This winter? It stinks.  I am a teensy bit over the freezing polar vortex that keeps dancing around the city pointing and laughing at me. Kentucky usually doesn't have too much of a winter. I am okay with the usual winter here - a few good snows, a random temperature drop to the teens for a day or two, a stray half-melted snowman adorning a porch. But this winter has been awful! Now, I don't want to complain too much because I HATE HOT WEATHER. I am by no means looking forward to Summer. But I would like a good solid day with temperatures in the 40's. I think at this point that would feel tropical!

Anyway, back to the wedding. Things have been slow on the wedding front lately because of the cold front. I haven't been shopping in days, but I have spent a lot of time perusing the internet continuing to find inspirations. Right now my focus is on two things that have nothing to do with one another: The honeymoon and the music.

We honestly have no idea where we want to go for our honeymoon. We have talked about a cruise, a trip to Hawaii, a trip to Disney World, a cabin in the Smokey Mountains, a random beach trip, NYC - so many ideas. The thing is, we are paying for our wedding ourselves, and we are paying for our honeymoon ourselves. Why must the two come so closely together?! Why isn't the tradition that you marry in one year and honeymoon in the next? Well, we may start a new tradition! Ha. So I have been scouring the internet, polling Facebook friends, and family in an attempt to find the best absolute deal possible. So far, no go. Then there is the small, teensy, most tiniest detail..............I'm terrfied of flying. Certifiably terrified. Yes, I completely understand the statistics about how safe flying is, there are never hardly commercial air crashes, blahblahblah. People, I'm scared. How does one get over this to go have a wonderful honeymoon in say, Hawaii?! I hate being crippled by this fear, yet don't know how to get over it. I'm begging Andrew to drive if we go to Disney World. He is adamant that I can be fed sedatives and alcohol and suck it up for the hour flight. (Okay. He isn't actually that mean about it because he adores me, but if his inner evil twin wanted to speak I bet that's what he would say. :) ) So alas, until I can figure out my flying woes and the magic money fairy comes along, our honeymoon is facing some complications currently.

In music news....I have absolutely no idea how to narrow down music for the wedding ceremony!! I think I know what I want the bridesmaids/mothers of the bride, etc to walk in to. And I'm fairly certain I know what I want us to walk out to. And I think I MIGHT know what song to play for the unity ceremony part. Okay, so maybe I'm not in too awful shape. But still! I have to pick some more songs for the prelude time, and I have to decide if I want any vocals or just all strings, and if I want lyrics read (special ones) and all kinds of things.

So today's post is just one big "Well hey we might....but we might not....but we might! Are you still reading? Because we might not." I suppose after so many quick, concrete decisive moments I was bound to slip up sometime. Oh, but we DID book a photographer! Woohoo! Only thing left now is food. You know. That minor detail. Cause I'm assuming y'all want to eat. ;)

It's a date!

Okay, I admit it. I totally have slacked off on blogging this week! But for good reason – I’ve been wedding-ing. I’ve been doing lots of shopping and buying and reserving and frolicking. So I have plenty to report!

First of all, in venue land: I am happy to report that we visited our potential reception venue this weekend and….we booked it! It is the Vice Community Center. It is basically just a huge building that is rented out periodically for dances, receptions, weddings, reunions, etc. So it comes fully equipped with everything we need, which means we don’t have to rent anything! Ohhhhhh holy happiness. Seriously. They provide a full-service kitchen for catering, tables and chairs for 150 people, a stage with sound system for the DJ, and the kicker is we can have access to it the day before the wedding at no additional cost so that we can begin reception set-up a little early. I unfortunately don’t have any pics to post because Andrew took them all on his phone – but you shall see soon enough.

Along the same lines, I would also like to officially announce that: WE HAVE A DATE! The church confirmed that we may indeed be married there and it is officially reserved, along with the reception venue. We will be saying our vows and getting married on November 8, 2014. Whoa. It is….official! We have a date! We have a date! We have a date!! I’m getting married in less than 10 months now. NOW can y’all see why I have already been crazy in the planning department?

Other reserving-type areas of interest include that we did book a DJ for the reception, a string quartet for the ceremony, a florist for the day of, and we are thiiiiiiiiiiiisssss close to booking photography! So naturally, I spent most of last week, this weekend, and this week shopping. And I am VERY happy to report that I found my bridesmaids dresses!!!!! I present to you: The. DRESS.

Okay. I lie. That is not going to be worn by any human being that I currently know or even do not know. But because it was purple and fluffy, I felt it at least deserved the act of being photographed as a prospective client.

So I did not buy this dress, or any dress for that matter, but I have purchased an insanely large amount of baskets for my hot air balloon bottoms. And I have also purchased an insanely large amount of old vintage plates. I have been to every Goodwill in Lexington, Mt. Sterling and Morehead, and am now beginning round number two of hunting. I have a little over 80 dessert plates, and about 30 dinner plates. Each one is completely unique, for the bargain of 50 cents each. Oh, and my mom had some fabulous lace table runners for me to use for the tables. So each table will have a table cloth, old lace table runner, individually old china plates for each setting and my centerpieces. I feel it coming together at last! Below are some pics of the plates I have purchased thus far; I am sorry to say that these pictures do NOT do these plates justice. They are so beautiful and delicate and vintage in person, but these cell phone pics will just have to do for now.

 

Other than some more lace and vintage candlesticks, that is pretty much what I have purchased for now. Next begins the task of selecting precisely how to assemble my hot air balloons, and making a sample of each item. Oh, and we now have to select our wedding music. And decide the ceremony. You know. That stuff.

We have finally settled on our wedding party. We both put a lot of time and thought into this, and though we are not ready to share quite yet because all involved have not been spoken to, we both feel really great about our decisions. I am hoping we will have our account set up on The Knot by March 1^st with everything in one cohesive area, and the wedding party will certainly be a part of that process.

Okay my lovelies. I’m off to update my spreadsheets. Like a boss.

I am Wedding Planner, hear me ROAR!

May I just begin by saying…whoa. This wedding planning business? It is cray y’all! I started off feeling very overwhelmed and kind of like, “Oh Gosh. I can’t do this!!” and thinking that hiring a wedding planner was the only solution. And I mean, hiring a super-duper deluxe wedding planner; like Barbie on crack or something. And then I got all, “Oh hellll to the naw. I got this. I am Wonder Woman!” and through my adrenaline I Wonder Woman’ed and G.I. Jo’ed my way through about a week. Now, I am in “the zone” – you know. The cool, calm, collected zone where I have it all taken care of and am just solving world peace left and right. Yo.

Okay, so maybe if I’m being honest I am actually floating somewhere in between each of those descriptions. In all reality, I actually AM enjoying this process. So much so, that two nights ago I uttered the words, “This is so much fun! Now I want to be a wedding planner!!” Yes. I did. But seriously – call me.

So, here is how it has been going down. Every day I call my mom and we do the wedding 411 together. I give her a list of things need done, and she does them. Not long lists, or difficult lists. But since we are getting married in the town in which she lives, it is just soooo much easier. I’m not sure if you all know this about Southern women, but here’s a little secret: If you are a Southern woman who lives in a small town, you know everyone. Not just some people. Not just your neighbors. Not just your cousins (who are most of the town). No, you know E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Period. I can literally call my mom and say, “Hey, mom I need to find someone who rents out Unicorns for wedding receptions.” And she will go “Well, there is a man, named Larry if I remember correctly, who rented out a unicorn for the Smith wedding back in 2007. He works in insurance now, but I can make a call.” And then, voila! I have unicorns. See, you’re laughing but it is so very true!!

Though I have not outsourced my mom for her unicorn connections yet, I have utilized her talent of “knowing” for many other things. Reception Hall? Done. Florist? Done. Church? Done. DJ? Done. Literally, having only had about 4 conversations with my mom this week, I now posses an appointment to view our reception venue tomorrow, the church is confirming our wedding date on Sunday, we have quotes for a DJ and quotes for a florist and everything is within budget thus far!! And, I should give an honorable mention to my Grandma, Mammaw Alta. Because what my momma doesn’t know, mammaw does. She has more of a sense of where people live than what they do, and she literally has the phone number for every single human being alive. On earth. We drove to the reception venue to view it, thinking there would be a number on the door or something, but there wasn’t. So what do we do? Call mammaw. She knows all. And she did not disappoint – she knew the owner’s name, where he worked, and his day time telephone number. I didn’t ask, but I would be willing to bet she could name at least one of his childhood pets.

So, in other news I have been gradually weeding in the advice coming from dozens of people – all of which I welcome and love! And I am gradually deciding what works for us and what doesn’t. Two BIG things are working.

First shout-out is to my lovely hoodthang, Taylor. She suggested a “wedding account” – a special bank account with its own debit card to be used solely for wedding expenses. Andrew and I are paying for this entire thing ourselves, so this has turned out to be a fantastic idea. We now have a special wedding account that we are contributing to, and it is not to be touched unless it is to pay a wedding vendor. It takes a lot of stress off of us actually!

My second shout-out is to my sweet Justin Randolph, who recently got married himself and relayed to me his nightmarish difficulties with keeping track of RSVP’s and guest lists and budget. So he recommended making spreadsheets. And ohhhh my friends, spreadsheets I have made! I have the master guest spreadsheet, alphabetized by last name, with every guest we are inviting, their mailing address, how many guests I anticipate for that person(s), and then a separate column for RSVP responses later on. My second spreadsheet is the mac daddy budget sheet. I have a complete list of vendors, venues, decorations, officiants, etc and am tracking our set budget for each.  Ladies, I’m talking a column for estimated cost, actual cost, balances for each individual area, balances for the wedding account, miscellaneous expenses – boom. So thank you Justin and Hoodthang for your well-received advice.

I should probably mention that part of the reason I am so enjoying being a wedding planner is because it is feeding my organizational soul. I am a nut when it comes to spreadsheets, color-coding, organizing – you name it. I am every office’s dream. So I enjoy everything being in its place! Entering each receipt into the budget sheet makes my heart sing.

Also, in keeping with budget talk, because I have decided on old-world shabby chic Parisian, I have begun scouring Goodwills already! And it has been a blast! I have successfully found basket bottoms for 12 of my hot air balloon centerpieces, several antique candle holders, 6 mason jars for the photos, a beauuuutiful piece of lace for the cards/gifts table, and about 20 vintage pieces of china for our reception dinnerware. I am using a different antique table setting for every person; I’ll have to take a picture because the plates truly are gorgeous. And they are cheap!! We have made three huge hauls so far, and I have only spent $30. I’m sorry, what?!

Finally, in the last bit of wedding news this week: the music. The first question most people ask me about my wedding is about what music I’m going to have. I can see why this would be the first question, considering I am a musician, and am obsessed with music as a general rule. But I keep responding to everyone that I couldn’t make that decision until we had a venue. The music not only needs to fit with what we want to hear, but HOW we hear it makes a big different. A big hall, a small hall, a church, outdoor, indoor – all of those things completely change what type of music I envision. Well, we are having our wedding in a very small, wooden pewed, stained glass windows, vaulted ceilings, step back I time church. And that is not at ALL what I had in mind originally, so that is why I didn’t want to make hasty decisions. But now that I have seen, smelled, taken in the beautiful space I know what I want. I wanted live music, but not a piano or organ. Little known fact about me: I despise organs. Like, they make me want to punch bunnies. Repeatedly.

Soooooo, to make a long story a bit less long: We have hired a professional String Quartet. The Volare String Quartet to be precise. I work with a guy who plays viola with the quartet, so he helped us get in touch with the leader, and we got cut a great deal for knowing Elias – so shout-out number three goes to Eli! Woohoo! So we will be having a full string quartet for 30-minutes prior to the ceremony, during, and after. And the kicker? They can play ANYthing. I’m not talking just Bach and Mozart here people. They play the Beatles. AC/DC. Cole Porter. Elvis. Anything!! So the next amazing task for Andrew and I will be to select our wedding music. If there is something they don’t have, they will arrange it for us personally or buy the music. I listened to their audio recordings of their off-beat selections and they were amazing!! Fantastic arranging. Andrew is equally excited, and has been googling string quartets like it’s his job. So the actual pieces are still TBA, but I will let one thing leak: We will be using one song from 1967, the year my parents were married in that same church. Full circle people.

I feel like I should have a cape. And some type of wedding planner saying, like “Go Go Gadget!” or something. But more wedding-y. Or maybe just …okay. Too much. I know. I get it. Stepping away.

Squeeeeeeeeeeee.!

Table Talk

I'm not sure if it is too early to already be deciding my centerpieces for my tables, but it is literally all I can think about right now! So I've devoted probably entirely too much energy toward this small detail, and now I think I know what I want. Now, granted, we are paying for this wedding ourselves. So I can't just mass-order the first thing I see and be done. No, nooooo no. Instead, I have found my inspirations for what I want and I, lil' Miss Crafty herself, will be making these (along with help from some soon-to-be-named family members. I know where y'all live.)

I looked at Andrew in the car today and casually said, "So I think I'm going with a Purple Paris theme for the reception." He didn't miss a beat before looking at me and going, "NO! Really?! Oh my gosh. I had no idea." *insert stank eye here* I guess it wasn't tooooo far of a stretch to assume I wanted all purple and Paris and travel at my reception was it? Although, who is to say I won't suddenly be inspired and come home one day saying I want a Goth-Metal reception with midgets dressed as Rainbow Bright characters! Okay....actually, at least part of that does sound entertaining....but I digress.

So, ladies and ladies I give you: My table settings! I will be combining some variance of the following items, on a budget, for a shabby-chic purple and parisian reception. I don't have pictures of the Eiffel Towers, but no worries - I have many that will be incorporated.
First, I give you: The Hot Air Balloon:

I found this little gem on Pinterest and immediately fell in love. I gasped. So we all know I'm using it. I thought it was so delightfully cute and simple. I immediately googled it, and found numerous you tube tutorials on how to make different variations on it. Mine will of course be purple,and have different flowers. But honestly, it just involves some balloons, ribbon, netting, and mini baskets - why, hello Goodwill!

Next up, we have old glass bottles (bottom right-hand corner of this picture):

I will have varying sizes, mostly smaller variety, with single flowers coming out of them. The jury is still out on whether these will actually be part of the centerpieces, or if they will be presented as shown here. I am leaning towards setting them on a table as seen here, such as the cake table or something of that variety.

 Next, I give you: The Card Box

Now tell me this doesn't SCREAM Micha?! I mean, it isn't purple but come. ON. I love that the vintage suitcase fits in perfectly in line with the Parisian/Travel theme, and then boom - there is sheet music lining it! Hello?! This will, obvi, be for the card table at the entry, and likely will be surrounded by some of those purple vintage glass bottles from above (of which I already have 6 or 8 of, just FYI.)

 The next table item we have is, VOILA: The mason jar photo frame:

Oh my goodness the shabby chic level of this gorge table center piece makes me swoon!! Note the burlap and lace it is sitting on! I plan on having this same exact thing. My hot air balloon, will adorn it's burlap and lace bed, and next to each one will be a mason jar with our black and white photo oh so gently tucked inside of it! And this project? Practically free! Between my mom and Andrew's mom we have about 1243091 billion mason jars at our disposal. Simply have to print the black and white photos and adorn them. Done and done.

 And lastly, we have this final little gem:

This last picture is actually just a possible adornment to the previous picture. If I don't put lids on the mason jars, I might leave them open, and something down inside of each one that can hold a bit of water, and then fill it with purple flowers coming out, rather than a lid. And I do so very much love the vintage candlestick holder in this picture as well, though if we do actual candles I would want to keep away from balloons.

So. Purple. Paris. Travel. Vintage suitcases, hot air balloons, burlap and lace, mason jar photo jars, and eiffel towers and old purple glassware. Tables beware. I am coming for you.

Hiccups and such.

Why hello there!

This is a multi-use post. I have wedding planning updates, and I also just celebrated a birthday. Party all around! And, I had my first planning "hiccup" - that first moment, when I was so worried about pleasing everyone else, I became all sad and worried and anxious and felt like I was letting people down, so I started to make a decision I wasn't happy about. Grab some popcorn.

So, this weekend we had the opportunity to visit our first venue. We visited Bethel Christian Church in (wait for it.....) Bethel, KY! This is one of the venues that was actually near the bottom of the list simply because we hadn't seen it, of course no one had recommended it to us, and it is the farthest away (well, except for the Tennessee option but I think we have officially ruled that option out now.) So how did this even make the list in the first place you ask? Well, it is the church that my parents got married in! This Spring they celebrate their 47th wedding anniversary. I've watched my parents go through pretty much all of it and I've really taken note of their love - both the what to do's and the what NOT to do's. I've seen them at their lowest and their highest, through thick and thin. And already in our relationship, Andrew and I have sought them out for advice on things we know we don't know know how to handle. And they are always older and wiser. And wiser. And wiser. SO, we just thought it would be an idea to explore that church as an option. I went to Bethel yesterday to visit my parents and have my birthday party. We were all sitting around and mom got out her and dad's wedding albums. Oh. My. Goodness. The pictures were amazing! How I made it this long without having seen these gems is beyond amazing. Mom was absolutely stunning, and Dad so very handsome. Mom's dress was handmade by our Aunt Molly, and their wedding was just standing room only - full of friends and family! They were both glowing, and I just couldn't stop staring at these pictures of how time stood still that day. So while looking at these and seeing the church in them, I asked mom if we could by chance get in to see the church that afternoon. She made a call, as they do in Bethel, and within 10 minutes we were on our way. Andrew didn't know what hit him!

We get to the church, and it's beautiful on the outside of course. That much I knew.

(My apologies, but after about 213098431 tries, this picture refuses to upload in the correct orientation. So lean your head and/or computer and just work with me people.)

But she took us in through the back. So we just saw a kitchen and a little Sunday School room and it smelled like old people. I wasn't thoroughly impressed and my nostalgia from the pictures was fading fast. So I put on a polite smile and thought, "Okay...not gonna happen." But then. Then we walked through the door into the sanctuary and I gasped. Now, Andrew will be the first to tell you that when I gasp, it is all over. I gasped when I saw what is now our first home. I gasp when I see purple. I gasp when I see a Coach purse. It generally costs him money when I gasp. I walked in, and this sanctuary was simply beautiful. Very, very small. Old. It looks like it was just a photo taken a long time ago and we got to step into it, Harry Potter style.

Dark hardwood floors give way to tall ceilings, from which old fashioned lanterned chandeliers hang. Wooden pews fill the space in three small sections, and big wooden doors lead out to the front. But most stunning are the floor to ceiling stained glass windows that are....PURPLE!!!!!!!!!! They are purple, and teal, and yellow and surrounded by the darkest, thickest wood I have ever seen. Not just your average stained glass window. And there is a huge one on every wall of the Sanctuary. And just as we walked in, the sun hit the window at the same moment, and I swear Angel's sang. I walked around slowly, and then sat down in the back. And I fell in love.

Then I walked a bit further into the front entry. It is a small round room, where the bride would wait to walk in. It is surrounded in purple and yellow stained glass, and smells like books. Loooooved it. And then I got overwhelmed, because I thought "Wow...mom and dad stood here. Took their vows here. Almost 50 years ago!!"

We asked a few questions and then went back home. My high was immediately sucker-punched in the gut though. Even though I fell in love with it, I had this little voice in the back of my head. Its name was Leslie. On my drive to Bethel earlier that afternoon, she preached me the gospel about how I should never get married in Mt. Sterling or Bethel, how no one will come to my wedding because it's too far away, how no one wants to travel for my wedding. I became really discouraged. I was upset about it the rest of the day, and all the way through to that night when Andrew and I finally made it home and had some time alone to really talk about things.

I told him my worries, and realized they were never worries before - they only appeared that afternoon after she said all those things. I had fallen in love with this tiny little church, and here I was thinking I can't choose that venue even though I love it because no one will come if I do. I mean, if my own sister is complaining, then of course everyone else is going to. But then Andrew calmed me down, and he confessed he had fallen in love with the church, too. He loved all the same things about it, and the sentimental aspect of it made us both really happy. And then, I remembered what another friend of mine said...how I will inevitably make someone unhappy, but at the end of the day I'm the director. Ha! And ultimately, this wedding is about Andrew and I, our love, taking our vows, our committment. It isn't about anything else. And then, I thought even more so about our friends and families. First of all, over half our guest list does NOT live in Lexington, so they are going to have to travel anyway. And second of all, I'm sorry but I would like to think that our friends and family, who love us and care about us, are going to come to our wedding whether it is in Lexington or not, whether it is in a church or a barn. Because they love us, this is our day to celebrate our love, and that is what it is all about, right?

So, for the first time in the planning process I felt my first true "I have to please everyone all the time what will  I ever do everyone will die and the whole world will end if I don't!!!!!!" moment. I was so shaken by her words, because she is my sister and I do value her opinion, that I fell into a negative spin the rest of the day. And because of that, I almost gave up on something that really meant something to us. This is what we want, and we are SO happy! So last night, I called my mom and talked to her, and she was so happy for us. She is going to look into seeing if our date is officially available, and if so we will book it! Our wedding, bless our hearts and God willing, will be in Bethel. Now. The reception will still be awesome, and will be held at a separate venue. So prepare ye y'all. Those details will come soon enough. :)

Okay. I was going to devote some time to my birthday but now I'm too tired. Just know it was amazing, I am soooooo very loved, and I am a happy girl. Woowoo!

Viva la Venue!!

Well, I am happy to report that I am alive and did not die from frostbite. Yet. I sent my puppy out to potty this morning, and when I re-opened the door to let her back in she literally had her paws up on the door and fell into the house. Granted, she had only been outside for a total of 2 minutes, but the look she gave me when I let her back in the house was priceless. It was some combination of "I really want to call you a bitch, but you also just saved my life so ima let this one go." Bless her heart.

So. Venues. I am finding that as I try to sort out the millions of details that go into wedding planning, that I really can't make any decisions at all until we decide on a venue. Every road I begin to go down in terms of reception, food, table settings, guest list, etc I always come to a screeching halt once I go, "Well, that really depends on the venue...", and then I step away. We have numerous venues in mind, each of which have their pros and cons. We are not members at a certain church, so we don't have that built-in "DUH!" place like most people do. And we both like the idea of thinking a bit outside the box on our location. So, we have made our short sheet of venues and are going to begin visiting them next week to take tours, determine final costs, and make a decision!! We pretty much have selected our date as well, but again when people I ask when the wedding is, instead of telling them the date as a finite idea, I have to add that pesky little phrase at the end, "Well, it does depend on if the venue is available that day of course..." - so ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Our Venue List

1. The Bell House - This is a huge home in Lexington, near downtown, that presents itself as a gigantic plantation home from another era. It is stunning, both inside and out.

Website: The Bell House

The pros of this venue are that it is extremely close to us (about two miles away), is centrally located fo rour families, they allow us to use our own caterers and set up our own reception, and it is the most affordable option by FAR. Very reasonably priced.

2. The Cardome Center - Located in Georgetown, KY (about 20 minutes outside of Lexington) is the Cardome Center. Again, it lends itself to that old plantation home type setting. I've actually worked inside this building for LexPhil events and it is stunning. Pictures do it NO justice. It takes your breath away. In fact, the day I was working there they had a wedding taking place that same weekend so I got to see a lot of how it would be during that setting. It also has a great outdoor space which could be an option.



Website: Cardome Center

If you look through the wedding photos from this venue, it really speaks for itself. It is beautiful, just the right size, again has the outdoor option, and is centrally located for our friends and families.

3. The Castle - Okay, what girl DOESN'T want to get married in a castle? And I mean, Kentucky actually has one and it's 10 minutes from our house. It practically begs to be used. It has all of the same pros as the other venues. The cons are longer on this one though - it is of course the most expensive option (though not so bad since we are having a small wedding), and it has the most "rules" to follow. But I mean...it's a CASTLE!



Website: The Castle

I can't seem to get the photo for this one to upload, so the website will have to do. Or google "Castle Lexington, KY". I mean, there is only one.

4. Gateway Regional Arts Center - This is located in Mt. Sterling, KY (about 40 minutes outside of Lexington). I also worked at an event here for LexPhil, and I was stunned by the beauty of this building. It is originally a Methodist Church that has undergone a $2 million renovation to turn it into a regional performing arts center. It is beautiful, as it has kept the original integrity of the architecture (i.e. stained glass windows, cathedral ceilings, old hardwood floors and grand staircases, etc), but it has the new, updated feel of a performing arts center. It is again very reasonable (cheap actually) to rent, and it is in a great location. Only about 15 minutes from my parents, which they would love.

Website: Gateway Arts

And finally, two maybe ideas that I don't have websites or pictures for are our two other options:

1. Gatlingburg - We are considering going away for the weekend to Gatlinburg and doing a wedding in the Smoky Mountains. But as we find more and more venues here locally, this option seems to be getting less appealing. I am just too in love with some of the options here close by.

2. Bethel Christian Church - above and beyond, this is our most "traditional" venue choice. This is the church my parents were married in almost 50 years ago. And while it ranks highest in terms of sentimental value, other than that we know little about it. I'm not sure I even remember what it looks like on the inside, and it is also in Bethel - which means that a reception would be almost out of the question. At least not one like we want. So it is on the list, but barely. For now. :)

And that my friends is it. Near and far, cheap and expensive, small and large these are our venue choices. We will begin the visits next week, choose what our hearts (and wallets) select, and then we will be able to announce our date!! Ahhhhh!!!!!

Bliss.

WebMD Wedding

And so it begins.

I've been searching high and low this week to begin searching for ideas that inspire me. I know the basic outline of my wedding: Purple. ShabbyChic. Budget Friendly. Southern. Perhaps a hint of French. But after that, I am not quite sure what direction I am heading in yet. We want a small wedding, close friends and family, and a small reception, but we want it to be BIG in heart and fun. I know I want a DJ, not a live band. I know I don't want a formal reception with China and and stemware and "Did you order the filet mignon or the chicken?" We are not like that, nor should our wedding be. I am thinking it will have a definite southern flare to it, most noticeably in the food we choose for the reception. Comfort foods. GOOD foods. And comfortable table settings - I do not need every single chair wrapped in a bow and then kissed by a thousand fairies by the glow of the moon before you sit in it.

But all of these definite "don't wants" have led me to begin solidifying my "do wants". Enter: the internet. I got on Pinterest and made the horrifying mistake of simply typing "purple wedding" in the search box. As though I had some mystery illness and needed to WebMD my symtoms. Purple. ShabbyChic. Budget Friendly. Southern. What is my diagnosis oh web doctor?! That seemed so innocent. But then, the literally thousands of posts that included those two words appeared before me. My head literally exploded. I wanted every single cake I saw. Every flower bouqet. Every table setting. Because it was all purple. And wedding. And that is just like crack to me right now. So in order to curb my enthusiasm, I decided to take a break and look into something a bit more calm. Enter: Craigslist.

Now, everything that Pinterest is, Craigslist is not. Pinterest wraps it all in a pretty bow, leads you into fantasy land, and you start to say unhealthy things like, "You know, I think I COULD build that all by myself!! All I need is a table saw and a sturdy pair of gloves..." and before you know it you are in wedding la-la land, and my purple parisian southern fried wedding has all but taken place already. Then you get on Craigslist and type the same two, innocent words: purple wedding. And then it happens. The most white trash, god-awful things begin to appear before your eyes. Now granted, not ALL of it is awful. Some things were actually okay. But then there are things like the piece of cardboard with words painted on with crayola paint sets that say things like "Just got hitched". Now granted, it was painted in purple. So technically it did meet my criteria. Then you see wedding dresses with sad little descriptions like "Never been worn. Didn't quite make it to the big day. Make an offer." Or table settings that consist of a plastic flower scotch taped to what I can only assume was a styrofoam plate with a number scribbled on it.

Now. some of the things I saw actually WERE nice, and were legitimately people who just spent $10,000 on a big party and now are desperate to redeem some of their investment. And I will continue to scour the internet, both Pinterest and Craigslist and dozens of other countless sites, as I narrow down my exact plans. But my point is this - I don't want to go to either end of the spectrum in this process. I don't want to become so caught up in the hype of planning that I end up hiring people to ride in on unicorns at the reception as Enya plays in the background and fairies sprinkle fairy dust as I climb an Eiffel Tower (damn fairies...). But I also don't want to be so low-budget or focused on "Well it's just about the love, so nothing else matters." that I end up serving my guests beenie weenies on paper plates, while Andrew and I exit on a lawnmower with that "Just got hitched" sign I bought off Craigslist.

So now, as my excitement calms and my eyes open to the true task at hand, I seek balance. And calm. I know what I want, what I don't want, and now I know to just take a deep breath and listen.

The Proposal

Well, here it is. The blog I've always dreamed of having - my WEDDING blog!! You guuuuuuys. This is going to be WAY more fun than Thintervention was. And let's be honest - that was a good blog. I figured I am the type of person who is going to want to track every second of this journey that I'm about to set forth on. And I have been warned by my sweet sister that people will "block my ass" if I get too wedding-y on Facebook all the time. So a blog just seemed like the best option! I have already started reading wedding posts like its my job, and I have already become a Pinterest whore, so I really need an outlet. Stat.

I am going to devote this post not so much to wedding planning, but to the actual proposal!! I've received tons of congratulations, but I've had very little chance to tell our story to people. And may I just say in regards to congratulations on Facebook - y'all really read my Facebook! I didn't even know that I KNEW that many people, let alone that there would be that many people to wish us well. I felt so loved!! And stalked...

So. The Proposal.

He did it on Christmas Eve. And in hindsight, I should have known it was coming, but because I was so caught up in the Spirit of Christmas I just attributed everything to that, rather than an impending proposal. We began our day by going back and visiting the bookstore where we met - a local Barnes & Noble that has a Starbucks inside. We technically met online, but this was our first in-person meeting. So we thought we would be all romantic and just visit the bookstore and have a cup of coffee. Well, I sat down at the table and just started to cry. I was overwhelmed with how much I love this man and how much he changed my life, and I just felt so happy to return to that place where it all began. But that wasn't the proposal, and I didn't think anything of it! We left and grabbed lunch, and then he took me to a BEAUTIFUL cathedral downtown for Christmas Eve service. The service was stunning, and ended with almost 1,000 people singing "Silent Night" by candlelight. And I cried. Again. I just felt so loved and blessed and 'tis the season, so again I wasn't thinking proposal day.

We get home, and he cooks me an AMAZING dinner of spaghetti and homemade meatballs, garlic bread and dipping oils, all by candlelight. And I felt so happy and fulfilled. And yet still wasn't suspicious. After dinner, we opened our Christmas presents. He kept acting very distracted when he was opening his gifts, but I just thought he was excited to see me open mine, so I didn't think much of it. We finished, and then he said he had one more present for me. He gets the laptop out and hooked it up to the big screen and we both sat down. Then it began.

A beautiful video began to play, set to John Mayer's "Love Is A Verb". It was photos of us, close friends and family, and thanking me for a wonderful year and saying Merry Christmas, and it was so great. I cried, and thought, "What a sweet gift!!!" but I still didn't get it. About 2 minutes into the video, it suddenly changes course. Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors" begins to play, which is OUR song, and on screen 1 Corinthians 13 appears, showing the definition of Love. That is when I knew. I began to ugly cry. No, not even ugly cry. Fugly cry. The video, set to our song, began to unfold as "'Twas the Night Before Christmas", but he re-wrote it to tell our love story. He divided it into chapters that each described part of the journey of our relationship. By the end of the story I was completely a mess, and the video asked me to stand, so I stood. The music softened a bit, and he got down on one knee. The video continued telling the story right up until the key moment where it had a special screen appear, and then he began speaking to me. He proposed down on one knee, and I screamed yes at least 20 times, and I fell down onto the floor with him and just cried and smiled and hugged and kissed and cried. Then, after a couple minutes I finally truly saw the ring. It is gorgeous. I have diligently tried to get a good picture of it to post on Facebook, but I just can't get one even close to how beautiful it truly is. I'm going to have to find a real camera and take pictures!! Anyway, amongst my blubbering happiness, suddenly I look back over at the video, and he had some special screens that continued to play after "They Lived Happily Ever After. The End." that said, "Actually...this is just the beginning. I can't wait to marry you!!"

It was truly a beautiful proposal, and he put SOOOOO much time and thought into it. It melted me. It was about 10 minutes long, and the first time through I was able to focus for about half of it. So needless to say I watched it about 10 times that night until I had it memorized. We called our families, half of which already knew because he had let them in on the secret. He had asked my Dad for his blessing a few weeks before, and then he told my mom. My sister helped him with the ring selection, and he had told his parents to get their blessing. A few friends helped (unknowingly) by giving him pictures for the video - he just told them it was a Christmas gift.

I have never felt so alive in my entire life as I was in that moment. I will devote this blog mostly to table settings and flowers and dresses and venues and hot mess days that I'm sure to have. But I want to devote this post to this man. He met me during a time in my life when I felt so alone, so afraid, and so beaten down. My prior relationship had stripped me of my self-esteem, my trust, my happiness and my faith in humanity in one big swipe. Friends and family helped me limp along in any way they could, but I felt so broken and so convinced that love was not in the cards for me. When I met Andrew, I spoke very honestly to him about what I had been through, and what it had done to me. I gave him all my baggage and once, and apologized for what he may have to do to rebuild that which was broken by someone else. I gave him my past without being able to promise a future. I was scared, both of him and of myself. Early on I would call them car backfires - I would say I would hear a car backfire and automatically assume it was a gunshot and I would head for the hills. And you know what his reponse was? Patience. Understanding. Listening. Calming. Our first several months together were struggles. I didn't know what to do when he was nice to me. I didn't realize how emotionally and verbally abused I had been prior to him, so much so that when he was nice I literally could not understand it. But the most amazing thing was, I knew how to love HIM. I could tell what he needed, I knew how to love. I still had it to give. And then the remarkable happened. My heart was rebuilt. I loved. I showed compassion. I learned to trust. I was given honesty and respect, and gave them equally. He never let go, and neither did I. And then slowly he became my best friend, my soulmate. A term I had never believed in before was becoming my bread and butter. My faith grew stronger. My self-esteem grew stronger. I felt alive. And so very in love. I have a connection so deep, and so strong with this man that I could never put it into words. He is my everything, and I cannot wait to take our vows before God and enter into this marriage with him. My ring is beautiful, our engagement was great, I know our wedding will be amazing and our honeymoon will be perfect; but I want the marriage. I want the team, the love, the ups and the downs for the rest of my life. I want the union, the best friend, my other half. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly and if we struggle I want to struggle together. I want all that a marriage encompasses, not just parts of it. I cannot believe how much my life has changed, and I cannot wait to see how it will continue to evolve.

Thank you for loving me Andrew Wilson Gehring. Always.