Three Ring Circus

Three Ring Circus

So the wedding ring shopping has officially begun. I had this fairytale idea in my head that this process was going to be SO simple. The engagement ring that I have actually has a matching wedding band. When Andrew was shopping for my ring, he was going to just purchase the set and be done. My sister, Leslie, was helping him out though and she told him she felt that I may want something unique just knowing how I am. So shout out to Leslie for that! Because as it turns out, I do in fact want something unique. I saw the band that comes with my ring, and I decided it wasn’t quite bold enough for me. I want something wider, larger, more intricately designed. NOT that the band that comes with mine isn't perfectly lovely. I keep trying to get a link to the picture of my band on here, but the internet is special. Or I am. Tomato, tomahto.

Anyway, beautiful though it may be, we set out to go ring shopping.

Okay. Place number one we stopped was Jared’s. You know – “he went to Jared’s! Ooooo!” Andrew warned me before going in that they all work on commission so that a sales person would attack us immediately and try to talk us into buying a ring. He had shopped there for my engagement ring, so he was prepared. Well. I fooled them! I went in, and immediately we were swept up by a little blonde sales girl. She took us straight to wedding band land and opened the case and pulled diamonds out for me to try on. SO naturally I didn’t argue. At first she tried telling me what type of band I should have for my ring. And I was like Ohhhhh, no no no no no sweet child. I am Micha. I am quirky. Step aside jewelry lady. I began asking her to pull out very unique rings. After a while, she tired of me and was all “Oh hell naw, I ain’t got time to go find this bitch a ring from middle earth. Pam! Get over here!” And then sales lady number two appears. She was like, “Oh, I GOT this. Ima sell this one. I sell ice to Eskimos. Boom.” So I have her begin pulling out different styles, and of course everything I loved she loved, and everything I hated she hated. Great self-esteem booster, these jewelry ladies.

I began requesting to see crazy things like sapphires, purple diamonds, and amethysts. Rings with swirly things and weaving. Well, that did Pam in. She was all, “Okay, I miss the Eskimos. Belinda!” And then entered Belinda. Belinda looked like she was the store manager, or perhaps the manager of ALL the things. She was….sturdy. And curt. And to the point. So she walks over, opens the case by practically shoving Pam out of the way and goes, “Okay. I have it. THIS is outside the box.” And she pulls out this beautiful rose gold ring. And I loved it, I really did. But it was also like $109501983431 and I didn’t feel that quite fit my budget. I had already set aside the sapphires and amethyst and was back in diamond land, and she goes, “Okay. NOW I have it. I have something in the back!” and she disappears, only to reappear five minutes later with a ring Pam had shown me like 17 days earlier, so I’m all “Bitch, please that ring is So 10 minutes ago,” and so Belinda is all “Next!” and disappears. So sales girl number ….4? Yes, four. She appears, and I don’t even get a name from her. She is all, “Okay bitch, you clearly aren’t purchasing a ring today and we are over it so fill out this information slip and bite me.” So she writes down the item numbers for the four rings that I actually did like, but then she won’t let us see it! She’s all, “Oh hell naw, these forms stay HERE and here only and they are protected by elves who work as CIA agents by day, and ring ninjas by night, so if I show you this form with the rings YOU picked out, a fairy will die. So boom.” So Andrew got a little snippy and was all, “How much are they?!” and she was all, “Eat me.” And we were all “Bye.” And I didn’t buy a ring.

So we then went to Rivard’s, which is where Andrew bought my engagement ring. Here, we had to ring a doorbell to even be allowed to enter the store. It is privately owned, and Mr. Rivard himself was there and let us in. He is the one who sold Andrew my ring. He was the complete opposite of the 4 sales bitches at Jared’s. He was SOOOOo friendly and sweet and nice. He very kindly explained the ins and outs of ring buying to us, the timelines, and he very sweetly showed me any ring I wanted to try on. And as a bonus, he took my engagement ring to the back to have it cleaned while we were looking. Loved him. I did find a few rings that I liked there, that were also a bit more expensive, but we are fans of him and his son, so that’s a bonus. Customer service goes a LONG way y’all! He also was kind enough to talk to us about a ring that we found at Kay Jewelers. It was beauuuutiful and full of actual purple diamonds. I had fallen in love with it at first sight and just KNEW it was going to be my ring. But then my world crashed because I discovered it was set in sterling silver, not white gold. So he kindly explained to us the world of sterling verses white gold, and how sterling just will never work for a wedding band. But then he lifted my spirits a bit because apparently if we do buy the ring at Kay’s he can simply re-set it in white gold for me – recast it in my size and reset the diamonds. But then the cost starts to get a little pretty again, so that’s if-y.

We also checked out the Castle, just out of pure curiosity. It was like entering a Vegas nightclub going in there. First of all, they had the door “propped” open by using a rubberband tied from the door to a nail on the wall. Quite the far cry from having to ring the doorbell at Rivard’s. And then second of all, the world’s bitchiest pocket gay worked here. He saw my ring and gasped and ooo’d and aww’d and told me how beautiful it was, and how he had something in the back that was perfect for it. So he flits away, and then finally comes back with…the ring that is supposed to go with my ring. Remember? The one that I ruled out like seven paragraphs ago? So I politely tell him that it is a bit thin for my taste and that I want something a bit wider and bit more unique. So he not-so-politely tells me that I CANNOT have a wider band because it will NOT look right with my ring. He stood and stared at me with the thin band in his hand like, “MmmHmmm. That’s right. I said it. Now put the thin band back on. Now.” And I stared right back like, “Take that thin band and your 1987 flock of seagull’s haircut to the back room and find something wider. Now.” And he did. But he found nothing else. I meanwhile looked in the case of wedding bands and didn’t see one single ring that remotely looked decent. They all looked cheap and gawdy – I mean, we were in the Castle after all so I wasn’t expecting my life to be changed. So I tell him that I really don’t see what I’m looking for because I want something different. Then he pretty much was pissed by that point and just stood there telling me how I MUST have a thin band, how nothing else will look right, and then he just outright was done. He clearly wanted to move on. I did manage to ask him a few more questions, and Andrew picked his brain about sterling verses white gold (he agreed with Mr. Rivard on this one), and that was it.

So we left Vegas….errr, um The Castle…and went and got some green tea at Sonic, which made me feel considerably better about life in general. Then we discussed how Andrew’s cousin works for a jeweler in Somerset and she can probably design and get me whatever I want, for half the price, and all was well.

Then last night, I do the crazy – I WebMD wedding rings. Whyyyy oh why?!?! I start googling unique rings, and then I fall into the Pinterest abyss of unique rings, and I fall down the rabbit hole. Actually I jumped. Willingly. I discover though, that I am NOT crazy. Lots of women like to have a more unique wedding band. PLENTY of women out there have a more ornate design on their ring, rather than a plain silver/diamond band. Thinking outside the box is cool people! Get on my Micha bandwagon. Oh the places you will go!

So. Conclusion.

1.       Buying a wedding ring is not quick and easy.

2.       Never assume the “set” that goes with your ring is your only option.

3.       Boys have it way easier. I think I could tie a bread tie around Andrew’s finger and he would consider it at least partially classy. And be satisfied.

4.       Thinking outside the box and wanting this special element is okay.  Quirkiness is part of who I am, and I embrace that. It doesn’t matter what snobby sales girls and bitch pocket gays say to you. You are a strong, beautiful woman. You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

5.       Take the time to find what YOU want. Not what is recommended, what is expected, but truly deep down what YOU want to wear for the rest of your life. This is a very special ring, and I have very special plans to make it very special. Sometimes I like to say special.

On that note my lovelies, Andrew just texted me and said he just stopped by a jewelry store that he really thinks I will like some of the bands at and he wants to take me there after work. Ladies, I love that man.