Mother of the Groom

Okay, before I begin this post may I just take a moment to laugh out loud? I was sending a text to Andrew and I meant to type “dishwasher”. Instead, my fat fingers typed “fishwadger” because I was trying to type and eat at the same time (read: fat fingers) so it got all jumbled. But my auto correct immediately knew what I meant and changed it to dishwasher. I find it encouraging that it knows me so well. It also now suggests changing “I’m” to “Ima”. Again, it knows me.

So today’s post isn’t about decorations or dresses or venues. I’ve really been thinking about some other things and I wanted to share them. I love Andrew with all that I am (we all know this), and I am SOOOO excited to marry him and have all that a marriage brings. And on that list of all that I am inheriting is something that I feel many people don’t talk about, or often make fun or even see as a chore: I’m talking about HIS side of the family.

Now, through the years I have heard horror stories about mother-in-laws, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. And I do love me some J-Lo ala “Monster-In-Law” with Jane Fonda. And I do understand that it is probably like that for a lot of women out there. But I have to say I count my blessings every day for the family that is now becoming my family, too. I adore Andrew’s family – his siblings, his awesome nephews and nieces who are beautiful, talented, funny, and FUN! He has a gigantic family, even bigger than mine I think (and for anyone who knows me, you know that is absolutely almost impossible to say!) Going to Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas at his house this year was a first for both of us (we didn’t do joint holidays last year since we were so new to the relationship). And I think we were both a little nervous. But we had the BEST holidays we have ever had. We spent days surrounded by dozens of people who love us and wish the best for us. We would drive home, exhausted, but so happy to have had the time to see everyone and spend the time with them. Oh my goodness, his family has sooooo many little kids! It is hilarious to watch them all together. My family is mostly older now, until I start making babies, but I do remember the days when all my nephews were little and how much fun it was. Now I get to re-visit that vicariously through his family.

I know Andrew loves my family, too. He has an uncanny connection with my dad. They text each other back and forth every day goofing off and joking. He asked dad’s permission for my hand in marriage, and I know that meant the world to my daddy. Andrew loooooves my momma’s cooking (who doesn’t!?) and he loves hanging out with my parents. We actually have a fantastic time when the four of us go out. We laugh and laugh and laugh endlessly. And we see a LOT of ourselves in my parent’s relationship, and they give us amazing advice. We base our relationship on God and family, and this foundation keeps us so strong. My sisters, Leslie and Mary, love Andrew and he them. They fit right in together and have the best time.

Anyway, I have a couple things I’m trying to get to here. At the head of these two amazing families are two amazing sets of parents. Our parents have each been married close to 50 years now, and they have built up quite the little empire of children and grandchildren. And though I love and adore my parents, and Andrew his, what gets me the most is how much we each love each other’s family. Andrew’s mom, whom I affectionately call “momma” is a strong, beautiful, loving, SWEET woman with a heart of gold. The first time I met her she asked me if she could hug me, and she did – such a tight, warm hug! I could literally feel her, through that hug, saying “Thank you.” She knew. She knew from the start I was the one for Andrew and she felt at peace because her baby boy, her most precious thing in the entire world, was going to be loved and taken care of. She has treated me like gold from the very second I met her. She checks in on me, texts me, makes sure I’m okay and have anything I need. She tells Andrew he better be good to me – she tells him to make sure he takes the trash out, use his manners with me, never yell at me, to take care of me – she literally will lecture her own son in order to make sure her Micha is okay. She cares about us in such a deep way. And I immediately connected with her because in her I see Andrew. I see he is almost a carbon copy of this woman. He shares her huge heart, he shares her kindness, he shares her desire to do good. He had struggles before he met me (as I did before I met him) and he was in a darker place. And she never left. She is so strong. SO strong. I cannot emphasize that enough. If I am having a moment when I don’t understand Andrew, I know she gets it and can help. I know she has seen it all, done it all, been through it all. I hope she doesn’t go under appreciated by anyone because she deserves the best. She is Andrew. Andrew is her. She has instilled her heart in him, and for that I could never thank her enough or put into words how grateful I am for him being raised by that momma.

So my point it, I am completely overwhelmed, elated, and just downright happy that I actually have this. Not only did I find the man who I am deeply in love with, who is my best friend, who is my safety, my happy, my strong arm. I found him. But with him, came this amazing change in my life. His familiy is becoming mine, and mine his. And it amazing.  I don’t have the crazy mother-in-law – I have the momma who gives me purple things and hugs me and tells me she loves me every time she sees me or talks to me. How in this world did I become this blessed? How did I go from being the most broken soul on this earth, to believing love didn’t exist, to believing settling for second or even third best was my only attainable love – to THIS? I am so very happy to be marrying this man, to be joining this big crazy family, to be starting this new adventure.