So I have learned something about myself. The way I plan a
wedding is rather similar to the way I wrote papers in college and grad school,
in particular my thesis. I get all excited and pumped up in the beginning and
write every day. I buy all the colors of highlighters, I do all the research I
possibly can and I tell myself this will be the time I get it allll done with
weeks to spare and then I will have this glorious period where all I have to do
is edit and relax.
In reality, it took me almost 6 full months to write my
thesis. It was 80 pages long, and I would venture to guess at least 60 of those
pages were written the week it was due. I did, to my credit, do months and
months of background work. But my “glorious period” of editing looked more like
me not showering for days at a time, locking myself in my bedroom and cursing
the world that I went to grad school, probably yelling something to the effect
of “A bitch ain’t got TIME!!!!!” and then putting my paper away and consciously
choosing to watch all 10 seasons of Friends in chronological order and thinking
they have all figured out. And then finally, after weeks of procrastination and
faux soul-searching, I finally have my light bulb moment. I realize I need to
graduate grad school because that is truly what I want, and I also
simultaneously realized I actually COULD graduate and survive.
Anyway, that has sort of been me lately. I jumped on my own
bandwagon of planning the wedding ,and then I just…stopped. Like, we got all
the big things taken care of – Flowers, DJ, Music, Venues, Dress, etc. I felt
like Wonder Woman. And then all of the sudden I realized there were a billion
little details to go over. So what did I do? I peaced out. I decided rather than
kill myself trying to do it all, I would do what was very clearly the obvious
choice: I did nothing. I got off Pinterest, I got off Craigslist, I shut the
door to my little “Wedding Room” as we now so affectionately call our guest
room, and I just sort of hung out. I mean, I knew I was still getting married.
But I just decided it was best to spend my weekends sleeping in and watching
Golden Girls.
Then the worry crept in. Followed by fear. Followed by “Holy
bitches what have I DONE?! It is too late! I CANNOT CATCH UP NOW!!!” And I even
started thinking things like….
“We could just get married at City Hall. I mean, it wouldn’t
be THAT overtop to still wear my blinged out wedding gown….and tiara….”
Or…
“Honestly? Who needs a reception? I mean the ceremony is
most important. Cake and punch will do just fine….people don’t need chairs do
they?”
I would like awake at night and be scared to death to even
consider going through any type of to-do list. Do all brides go through this?!?
Am I having some type of mid-planning crisis?
But then, one day whilst in the pool in my backyard sipping
on adult beverages and playing on my noodle, my sister was over and she gave me
the best, most detailed, most intelligent, most amazing advice I’ve ever been
given. Are you ready for this?? She said….Make a list. Then do it.
But I….well I….you see the thing is….oh. Okay. Yeah…I can
make a list. That doesn’t commit me to DOING anything on the list. But I like
lists. I used to make my own version of the David Letterman Top Ten List and
pass it around to my friends in school. I like lists.
I decided to talk to Andrew. We had a nice, looooooong conversation
that was very open and honest and I discovered the darndest thing….He was
freaking out, too!! OHHHH I just KNEW I loved this man. He didn’t tell me I was
crazy, he jumped on board my crazy train. We talked about everything, all our
thoughts and feelings. All the things. All the feelings. And then, out of
nowhere I was fine. I was like, “Bitch, please, ima plan two weddings, one for
reals and one just ‘cause I GOT TIME!”
Then, I sat down at my computer. And I made a list. Not just
any list. A two-column, six-page, single-spaced list separated by categories
that pertain to various aspects of the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and
reception. And as soon as I made the list, it was all over from there. I have
become 100% enthralled in this process. I am SOOOOOOOOOOO freaking excited
about this wedding. I even put happy little check boxes on my list so I can
check them off. And guess what? I’m checking them off. Everything is in motion.
I dusted off my “wedding room” and informed Andrew and the dog they are no
longer allowed to take naps in there just because it is cooler. Chandler seemed
okay with it; Andrew may still be longing for a bit.
My mom came up this weekend and she and I powered through
this list. We bought all the things. Well, at least we made a good dent. We had
so much fun. She was walking down the “aisle” at Michael’s pretending to hold
bouquets, and we were unrolling ribbon and running, literally RUNNING, through
the store when a cashier told us she found purple roses. And um…they are
gorgeous. Just…..gorgeous. We bought all the things, and when we saw our total
I broke out in a sweat. Either that, or I was sweating from running. Let’s face
it I’m fat and it was a warm day. But I like to think it was one of those do or
die moments, and I did.
We are working on the guest list and the invitations this
week. By the way, if you didn’t receive a Save the Date and you feel offended,
don’t. We decided not to send Save the Dates out because we decided that was
just an extra expense we don’t need. So just good ol’ fashioned invitations
will be sent out, hopefully within a month or so. I’m still working on
compromising with my fiancé who likes the idea of calling our wedding an “I Do
BBQ”. The jury is still out.
Anyway, we are in the home stretch. The wedding is in
roughly 14 weeks and it is GO time. It is time to take a shower, lock myself in
the computer room, and write that paper. And maybe edit it the week it is due,
but still know it is a damn good paper. Because we are going to have a
beauuuutiful wedding.
Oh, and in case anyone cares – I got an A on my grad school
thesis. An A!!!!
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