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Y’all. Yesterday marked exactly 8 weeks until the big day. Y’all. Y’ALL!!!!!!!!

Okay. So. Thank you Jesus, Buddah, Mother Theresa, Pope-Saint-Something, and Tom Cruise things have finally taken a turn for the better!! I’m starting to actually have success with things. Which of course makes me throw shade to people thinking it is actually a trick.

This weekend we were able to go and set up Andrew’s tux rental and those of the groomsmen. I literally knew nothing about this process at all. When we walked in a tiny little woman descended upon us and offered to walk us through the process. She asked what we needed and I blurted out that I had no idea how this process works and we needed help. Oh, and my name is Micha.

Despite my initial tendency to hate her because she was a skinny bitch, she actually turned out to be quite nice and rather knowledgeable about tuxedo rentals. Which is good since she has only worked there for 3 months and apparently used to be an x-ray technician at UK but thought they were bitches, and then she had twins so she had to quit anyway and she thought renting tuxedos seemed like the next best thing, especially since she only has to work an average of 32 hours a week now which helps cut down on the cost of daycare because her deadbeat ex don’t help.

………TMI lady. T. M. I.

Regardless, she walked us through the 50 shades of gray tuxes (see? See what I did there?) and we settled on Shark Gray. Rahr! It was actually rather sharp looking, and was priced somewhat lower than the Vera Wang tux in the corner. (PS, does Vera Wang make ALL the things now???) We picked out a purple vest and tie that matched absolutely perfectly with my bridesmaids dresses. And don’t y’all think for two seconds I didn’t carry that dress right in that store with me and laid it on a table and laid the vest on top of it and flipped through every purple they had until the angels sang. Amen I did. And Hallelu.

The tie and vest matched perfectly, everything looked stunning against the grey, Andrew was measured, and they included everything in the rental PLUS gave us $30 off for being pretty. Or because there was a sale going on…not quite sure.  It all was wrapped up and taken care of in less than an hour from start to finish. That woman probably thought I was crazy because I just kept squealing with delight because something actually was easy and people were nice. Woo!! Tuxedos – done.

On Sunday my momma came up and we went on a mini-shopping spree. She helped me pick out some pretty new clothes so that I’ll have cute outfits to wear to all the upcoming wedding related festivities. And then I picked out some beauuuuutiful lingerie for my honeymoon. That was a process in and of itself. Everything was gorgeous on the hanger, but hanging on me it didn’t necessarily give off that sexy vibe. Actually at one point I turned around and saw myself in the mirror and began to laugh so hard I think I peed a little. I had on a cute little outfit that, on the hanger, just screamed adorable. Little satin shorts, a cute tank and it even had a little bow on it. However, when I turned around in the mirror I realized I looked like a lesbian truck driver who had been forced to wear a bow in lieu of her steel toed boots. Damn. We all had a GOOD laugh over that one. I did not purchase that. But I am happy to say, in a world where big girls need to feel beautiful too, I was able to select some gorgeous pieces that were flattering, sexy, and cute all in one. We gushed at the checkout counter about how I’m getting married and going on a honeymoon and how much fun we were having. The checkout lady, however, did NOT have time. I called her big Bertha. She had no interest at all in making a sell, nor was she at all interested in anything about this wedding. She actually audibly sighed when I asked her to order an extra piece online and have it shipped. I had flower shop flashbacks, but fortunately I brushed her off as rude (SuhKERITY!!!) and moved on. Don’t rain on my parade Bertha. I’ve got a list.

Continuing with things going right, I received THE call yesterday. My dress has arrived. It was supposed to have arrived on Saturday. However, I didn’t receive a phonecall. So I called them and left a lovely message. On Sunday they didn’t call either. So I called again. This time someone answered and I got straight to the point. They promised me it would be here Monday. MmmHmm.

On Monday my phone rings. I answered it and instead of saying, “Hello?” I simply said, “I hope you’re calling me because my dress has arrived.” There was a small awkward moment of silence, followed by a voice I can only assume was actually Minnie Mouse that said, “Yes ma’am it has! It has already been checked and steamed and is hanging and ready for pick up!” Soooooooo, I’m picking up my dress this Sunday. I must admit, even though it is exciting and I’m pumped, I am still slightly nervous about it until it is officially in my possession. I will cut people if I show up and it is the wrong dress, or if it looks like it was sewn by garden gnomes since it was magically available in a 2 week rush. But overall I’m optimistic. (Did that not come across??)

And lastly, in Things That Have Gone Right for $200 Alex, not only are all our invitations officially delivered, we are actually beginning to receive RSVP’s. This was something I had not at all anticipated as being eventful or exciting. But guys. Seriously, every time someone RSVP’s on our website I literally squeal and bounce and grin like a little girl. Hearing that "ding" in my email is the most exciting thing ever!! It is SO exciting to begin to see the guest list truly form, and to see our friends and loved ones saying YES! We will be there! I am getting so excited to share this special day with everyone. So if you’ve received that RSVP, make sure you visit the wedding website on your card and let us know if you’re coming. Just know when I get the notification, I am somewhere squealing and giggling and being a happy, giddy bride. And if you can’t come and have to say no, that’s totally fine. I have all of your addresses and a carton of eggs and a roll of toilet paper with your name on it.

Boom.