Hiccups and such.

Why hello there!

This is a multi-use post. I have wedding planning updates, and I also just celebrated a birthday. Party all around! And, I had my first planning "hiccup" - that first moment, when I was so worried about pleasing everyone else, I became all sad and worried and anxious and felt like I was letting people down, so I started to make a decision I wasn't happy about. Grab some popcorn.

So, this weekend we had the opportunity to visit our first venue. We visited Bethel Christian Church in (wait for it.....) Bethel, KY! This is one of the venues that was actually near the bottom of the list simply because we hadn't seen it, of course no one had recommended it to us, and it is the farthest away (well, except for the Tennessee option but I think we have officially ruled that option out now.) So how did this even make the list in the first place you ask? Well, it is the church that my parents got married in! This Spring they celebrate their 47th wedding anniversary. I've watched my parents go through pretty much all of it and I've really taken note of their love - both the what to do's and the what NOT to do's. I've seen them at their lowest and their highest, through thick and thin. And already in our relationship, Andrew and I have sought them out for advice on things we know we don't know know how to handle. And they are always older and wiser. And wiser. And wiser. SO, we just thought it would be an idea to explore that church as an option. I went to Bethel yesterday to visit my parents and have my birthday party. We were all sitting around and mom got out her and dad's wedding albums. Oh. My. Goodness. The pictures were amazing! How I made it this long without having seen these gems is beyond amazing. Mom was absolutely stunning, and Dad so very handsome. Mom's dress was handmade by our Aunt Molly, and their wedding was just standing room only - full of friends and family! They were both glowing, and I just couldn't stop staring at these pictures of how time stood still that day. So while looking at these and seeing the church in them, I asked mom if we could by chance get in to see the church that afternoon. She made a call, as they do in Bethel, and within 10 minutes we were on our way. Andrew didn't know what hit him!

We get to the church, and it's beautiful on the outside of course. That much I knew.

(My apologies, but after about 213098431 tries, this picture refuses to upload in the correct orientation. So lean your head and/or computer and just work with me people.)

But she took us in through the back. So we just saw a kitchen and a little Sunday School room and it smelled like old people. I wasn't thoroughly impressed and my nostalgia from the pictures was fading fast. So I put on a polite smile and thought, "Okay...not gonna happen." But then. Then we walked through the door into the sanctuary and I gasped. Now, Andrew will be the first to tell you that when I gasp, it is all over. I gasped when I saw what is now our first home. I gasp when I see purple. I gasp when I see a Coach purse. It generally costs him money when I gasp. I walked in, and this sanctuary was simply beautiful. Very, very small. Old. It looks like it was just a photo taken a long time ago and we got to step into it, Harry Potter style.

Dark hardwood floors give way to tall ceilings, from which old fashioned lanterned chandeliers hang. Wooden pews fill the space in three small sections, and big wooden doors lead out to the front. But most stunning are the floor to ceiling stained glass windows that are....PURPLE!!!!!!!!!! They are purple, and teal, and yellow and surrounded by the darkest, thickest wood I have ever seen. Not just your average stained glass window. And there is a huge one on every wall of the Sanctuary. And just as we walked in, the sun hit the window at the same moment, and I swear Angel's sang. I walked around slowly, and then sat down in the back. And I fell in love.

Then I walked a bit further into the front entry. It is a small round room, where the bride would wait to walk in. It is surrounded in purple and yellow stained glass, and smells like books. Loooooved it. And then I got overwhelmed, because I thought "Wow...mom and dad stood here. Took their vows here. Almost 50 years ago!!"

We asked a few questions and then went back home. My high was immediately sucker-punched in the gut though. Even though I fell in love with it, I had this little voice in the back of my head. Its name was Leslie. On my drive to Bethel earlier that afternoon, she preached me the gospel about how I should never get married in Mt. Sterling or Bethel, how no one will come to my wedding because it's too far away, how no one wants to travel for my wedding. I became really discouraged. I was upset about it the rest of the day, and all the way through to that night when Andrew and I finally made it home and had some time alone to really talk about things.

I told him my worries, and realized they were never worries before - they only appeared that afternoon after she said all those things. I had fallen in love with this tiny little church, and here I was thinking I can't choose that venue even though I love it because no one will come if I do. I mean, if my own sister is complaining, then of course everyone else is going to. But then Andrew calmed me down, and he confessed he had fallen in love with the church, too. He loved all the same things about it, and the sentimental aspect of it made us both really happy. And then, I remembered what another friend of mine said...how I will inevitably make someone unhappy, but at the end of the day I'm the director. Ha! And ultimately, this wedding is about Andrew and I, our love, taking our vows, our committment. It isn't about anything else. And then, I thought even more so about our friends and families. First of all, over half our guest list does NOT live in Lexington, so they are going to have to travel anyway. And second of all, I'm sorry but I would like to think that our friends and family, who love us and care about us, are going to come to our wedding whether it is in Lexington or not, whether it is in a church or a barn. Because they love us, this is our day to celebrate our love, and that is what it is all about, right?

So, for the first time in the planning process I felt my first true "I have to please everyone all the time what will  I ever do everyone will die and the whole world will end if I don't!!!!!!" moment. I was so shaken by her words, because she is my sister and I do value her opinion, that I fell into a negative spin the rest of the day. And because of that, I almost gave up on something that really meant something to us. This is what we want, and we are SO happy! So last night, I called my mom and talked to her, and she was so happy for us. She is going to look into seeing if our date is officially available, and if so we will book it! Our wedding, bless our hearts and God willing, will be in Bethel. Now. The reception will still be awesome, and will be held at a separate venue. So prepare ye y'all. Those details will come soon enough. :)

Okay. I was going to devote some time to my birthday but now I'm too tired. Just know it was amazing, I am soooooo very loved, and I am a happy girl. Woowoo!